I hate cancer

Right at this moment ovarian cancer is killing my friend. What did she do? She did everything the doctors said to do and endured 6 months of the highest doses of chemo, it didnt work. Cancer does not discriminate, or else it would not be She who is suffering right now. Here is a woman who has inspired so many of her friends to get real with who we are and to share the crappy parts of life with laughter. My mom said my friend will handle this better than all who she is leaving behind. This is really true. She once said something along the lines of not being afraid to die because she could meet the one who saved her life. I selfishly dont know what I am going to do without her. She is my go-to for all my stepmom drama, she is my recovery guru, and most of all she is my friend. She told me recently that people leave our lives so that room can be made for new people to come in. I dont want a new person, I want a lightning bolt to come out of the sky and heal her. She is going into hospice today. I am going to go see her in the next two days and I am terrified. I dont want this to be real and it is going to be real once I see her. Why cant this happen to some degenerate violent creep I see on the news every night? Why does it have to happen to her? I hope I find out someday, but today I am sad and mad.

ahhh... I overreacted

The neighbors bike was stolen....no murder or mayhem (See Below)
I think I need to get a life.

Wedding Necklace

I love the necklace I wore for my wedding and it was hand crafted by Kelly Warren, my former Supervisor. I dont know why she doesnt sell FULL time as her pieces are beautiful and she has recently delve into photos which are amazing, check her out!
http://www.happyshackdesigns.com

and...

Of course I bumped into a former student on my walk today who I hardly recognized (he put on the Freshman 15) and he said 'I didn't know you lived in my neighborhood" and I told him I was a Nanny (read 2 posts below) and he said "as a Summer job?" and I said "No, as my job job."

Aghhh it's real

Not so uncomplicated?

So when I left my nanny gig yesterday there was a cop car in front of our new buddies house and this morning there was a CRIME SCENE VAN and there has been no sign of the sitter or the boys today.............

It's May already?!?

So here I am in week 5? of nannyhood. Everyone is napping and it is sunny outside. Lovely.

We went to a kids birthday party two weeks back and all of the sudden during the party it hit me...someone may ask me what I do for a living and I dont really have a canned answer yet. My goal was to stay home with Noah and God blessed me with this ability....with a twist. So far so good, but I would really like to have my own car and be able to get us all out of the house. I have visions of Library and park trips. Right now we go out on the patio and also we go for walks (almost daily) which require a double stroller and a front baby backpack (and stamina). We have be-friended the neighbors, a babysitter and the two boys she watches. Noah seems to like them and she is my only adult contact during the day, so i can be choosy at this point. She is twenty something and...uncomplicated...is the nicest way i can think to describe her. Noah likes her so she must be ok.

Noah is repeating everything, so no more cursing...dammit

The twins are changing daily and still so different from one another. William is calm and chatty, Emily wants all eyes on her (as it should be...she is the princess of the house). William loves his binkie, Emily loves to be held. Both think my singing and dancing are funny.

Brian and I got away this weekend which feels much calmer since I see Noah everyday all day now. We had a nice time just being together and have planned to have a tv free night once a week (Just not FRINGE night).

I am tanner, calmer and more confident in my mommy abilities...yay new life