I hate cancer

Right at this moment ovarian cancer is killing my friend. What did she do? She did everything the doctors said to do and endured 6 months of the highest doses of chemo, it didnt work. Cancer does not discriminate, or else it would not be She who is suffering right now. Here is a woman who has inspired so many of her friends to get real with who we are and to share the crappy parts of life with laughter. My mom said my friend will handle this better than all who she is leaving behind. This is really true. She once said something along the lines of not being afraid to die because she could meet the one who saved her life. I selfishly dont know what I am going to do without her. She is my go-to for all my stepmom drama, she is my recovery guru, and most of all she is my friend. She told me recently that people leave our lives so that room can be made for new people to come in. I dont want a new person, I want a lightning bolt to come out of the sky and heal her. She is going into hospice today. I am going to go see her in the next two days and I am terrified. I dont want this to be real and it is going to be real once I see her. Why cant this happen to some degenerate violent creep I see on the news every night? Why does it have to happen to her? I hope I find out someday, but today I am sad and mad.