My attempt at getting a photo of Noah in his cute onesie

Warning: This is judgemental

So I am reading the final papers for classes of college students that went out into the community and provided volunteer service in a variety of areas related to their coursework. Every December I get to read these papers and I want to either laugh or cry.

First, hardly anyone uses spellcheck, and if they do they mistakenly correct words and end up with a sentence that doesn't make sense. They write like they speak, cursing included! To quote a student who assisted a middle school teacher who was commenting on her discovery that teachers work hard for little pay, "I would kill myself not literally bur (I assume she meant 'but') yea."

Luckily for every handful of weird, disjointed papers there is one student who, although they cannot spell, had a great experience sharing their time in the community.

Just a Tuesday

Find the hidden Noah....(from yesterday)

So today I am SO bummed. It was SO nice to have Noah in the office yesterday. Just to have him here in sight made my day so much easier. This morning I brought him to Allison's house, which is pretty far out on the westside. I'm bummed that he is not within visiting distance, that is why I chose her daycare in the first place. It kind of feels like week #1 of dropping him off at daycare (which majorly sucked).

Monday....such a Monday

So this is Noah asleep in my office....today.

Why? you ask?

Apparently the landlord of the building where Noah goes to daycare is a nut case. She had a dispute with the daycare owner and changed the locks on the daycare door overnight. Allison (daycare owner) had to get the police to allow her to get her things out.

SO Noah is here for the day very unexpectedly. Although as you can tell from the photo, this has not phased him a bit.

Luckily she has found a new building and should be up and running the second week of January. Starting tomorrow her staff is going to watch Noah and the other infant (Kirsten, Noah's Buddy) in Allison's home until the new center has gone through inspection. It is closer to home then work so I guess my daytime visits are pretty much over.

When I got the call I very clearly had a moment to decide if I was going to act or react. I decided that this daycare journey has brought me enough stress that I was going to just trust God and make some phone calls to set up a plan. My Mom asked me why I wasn't freaking out. I am thankful I didn't think it was worth freaking out over. My friend Gail gave me a magnet when I moved to Florida that says "Today I will go with the flow." I can do that today.

This weekend pretty much did not go as we 'planned' at all. We had all three boys and the two older boys were sick and coughing and Kaeden threw up about 2 hours after Brian left to work for much needed overtime pay on Saturday. I had to call him to come home because I threw my back out Friday night and could hardly lift Noah and Kaeden had been my helper, until he yaked. It was slightly insane. My back is still recovering after my wonderful mother gave me Motrin and my wonderful husband went out at 10pm last night and bought heating patches and

aleve.

Happy Holidays!

Wacky Wednesday

These are the schhol pictures from Ocotber that I just got in the mail. It looks like Noah is praying!

So Noah has found a new way to express when he is annoyed at me....blowing raspberries. It's too funny, but when I laugh at him it just makes him more annoyed.

Today the Big brothers come into town until Sunday, thier mom is going to a conference out of the state. They both are on antibiotics recovering from colds...again. Which stinks as Noah and I are finally feeling better. Brian is now in head-cold land too which also stinks because he has to work all weekend since his company is changing locations. We couldnt refuse the overtime $$ this time of year.

We got our Christmas shopping for our out-of-stae relatives done and shipped. Thank You God! and an extra blessing...we used Mom and Aunt Rena's Chri$tma$ gifts to buy a new computer and we're getting the internet at home! I'm very excited!

Other than that, work is slowing down since students are taking finals this week and there will be no students on campus next week. It's a week to get lots of stats and prep work done. The boys come back into town onThursday the 20th-27th. Again I have them for themost part since Brian's work only closes Christmas day...those Scrooges.....

Moody Monday

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KF3SD7mMk28 Noah video from my mom's house yesterday.

So it's Moody Monday because I am officially not nursing anymore. Aside from the occasional comfort nursing, my milk factory is no longer functioning. TMI?

The positives:

• Noah and I are definitely bonded and he benefited from over 4 months of nursing.
• I can drink a glass of wine without feeling guilty.
• I had buffalo chicken yesterday without worrying about making the milk taste funny.
• No more nursing bras!!!!!!!
• I will have time to work out at the gym at work instead of closing my door 3 times a day to pump.
• NO MORE PUMPING!!
• Noah started VentAire Bottles and is less gassy
• I wont get bitten by the teething boy!

I must focus on the positives today. I guess I'm not really that moody since I feel ok with my decision (really more my body's decision).

We put up the tree this weekend with the boys. It is weird to put up a tree when the house was 75 degrees as it was 80 degrees outside.(Global Warming much?)

We also went to the ACC football game (Vtech vs. Boston College). after much challenge to get everyone there and into our fabulous free seats, the first good play Vtech made the Crowd Cheered and scared the living daylights out of Noah and He and I spent the next 2 quarters in the hallway watching the game on TV before we all called it quits.

We tried to watch "Rudolph" that we rented from the Library this weekend. Turns out there is a sequel to Rudolf and we picked up that one by mistake. All I can say is that there is a dancing hippo in spandex (it was WAY wrong). We didnt finish it...

Noah is doing a new thing this past few days. When tired he does not want soothing. He wants the binky in his bed and he puts himself to sleep! The more we try to soothe, the worse the crying. WEIRD. (Hence the YouTube video link)

We are also trying to eliminate the 3am feeding since he doesn't 'need' it anymore but is in the habit of waking.

We took him for his 4 month shots on Friday and he weighs 18.5 pounds!!!!! and is 26 inches long!!!!!!

Post Turkey Day Trip Update

Here is the gang in front of the tree and Uncle Glenn and Aunt Jenny's B&B.

We are back from our wonderful trip up north. We came in at about 8pm on Sunday night after spending a challenging 4 hours at Logan airport (4kids+boredom=parental insanity). It was a wonderful and chilly trip. We got to see most of the Synnotts and some of the Servant/Bombardier gang.

Noah was a hit (of course) and We loved seeing and squeezing baby Quinn. Quinn cut a tooth while we were there and yet he was still a happy and snugly baby!

We took the kids to Plymouth Rock and since it was less than 30 degrees, they were less than thrilled to hang out there. Yosie loved seeing the Mayflower docked at Plymouth.

Grandpa's house was full of cousins and they played inside and outside and were so sad to leave each other. We all wish we lived closer to one another. What's wonderful is that the distance doesn't diminish the connections we have with our family.

I really enjoyed hanging out with my sister-in laws. I am so lucky to have such a strong, smart and caring group of women in my life. They are amazing with all the kids and I learn so much from them!

I went to Amy's on Sunday with Noah and saw some of my family. As I was approaching her street I got butterflies in my tummy from excitement. I didn't realize how much I missed everyone until that moment. It's kind of like the days are filled with work and getting Noah home and feeding/bathing/sleeping and automatic pilot takes over. It's nice to have the time to pause and be with family.

Thankful Wednesday

I am thankful for all my family and friends today. I am thankful for my ability to walk, talk, think, hear, breathe & smile. I am thankful that we are going to visit family. I am thankful we will be coming home. I am thankful for my job, house, car, paycheck, daycare center and students. I am thankful that (God willing) this year will be my 5th abstinent Thanksgiving where I will not practice my addiction of overeating. I am thankful for the thought that I can choose what kind of day I have today. I am thankful for what God has given me, has taken from me, and has left me with. I am thankful for my commitment to self-improvement and forgiveness. I pray that I am patient,loving and present this holiday. I pray that you have a miraculous holiday full of health and happiness.

Neat

Can you answer this riddle?Here is a pretty neat little thing from Paul Harvey. See if you can guess the riddle at the end.
Paul Harvey Writes:
We tried so hard to make things better for our kids that we made them worse. For my grandchildren, I'd like better.I'd really like for them to know about hand me down clothes and homemade ice cream and leftover meat loaf sandwiches. I really would.
I hope you learn humility by being humiliated, and that you learn honesty by being cheated.I hope you learn to make your own bed and mow the lawn and wash the car.And I really hope nobody gives you a brand new car when you are sixteen.
It will be good if at least one time you can see puppies born and your old dog put to sleep.
I hope you get a black eye fighting for something you believe in.
I hope you have to share a bedroom with your younger brother/sister. And it's all right if you have to draw a line down the middle of the room,but when he wants to crawl under the covers with you because he's scared, I hope you let him.
When you want to see a movie and your little brother/sister wants to tag along, I hope you'll let him/her.I hope you have to walk uphill to school with your friends and that you live in a town where you can do it safely.
On rainy days when you have to catch a ride, I hope you don't ask your driver to drop you two blocks away so you won't be seen riding with someone as uncool as your Mom.
If you want a slingshot, I hope your Dad teaches you how to make one instead of buying one.I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and read books.
When you learn to use computers, I hope you also learn to add and subtract in your head.
I hope you get teased by your friends when you have your first crush on a boy\girl, and when you talk back to your mother that you learn what ivory soap tastes like.
May you skin your knee climbing a mountain, burn your hand on a stove and stick your tongue on a frozen flagpole.
I don't care if you try a beer once, but I hope you don't like it.. And if a friend offers you dope or a joint, I hope you realize he is not your friend.
I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with your Grandma/Grandpa and go fishing with your Uncle.
May you feel sorrow at a funeral and joy during the holidays.
I hope your mother punishes you when you throw a baseball through your neighbor's window and that she hugs you and kisses you at Hannukah/Christmas time when you give her a plaster mold of your hand.
These things I wish for you - tough times and disappointment, hard work and happiness. To me, it's the only way to appreciate life.
Written with a pen. Sealed with a kiss. I'm here for you. And if I die before you do, I'll go to heaven and wait for you.

We secure our friends, not by accepting favors, but by doing them.

Paul Harvey RIDDLE:

When asked this riddle, 80% of kindergarten kids got the answer, compared to 17% of Stanford University seniors.
What is greater than God, More evil than the devil, The poor have it, The rich need it, And if you eat it, you'll die?

Thankful Tuesday

It was a wonderfully hectic day yesterday. I say that because my job yesterday was hosting 60 special ed students who sang and played in a band for our students. They ranged in ages from 11-22. The were so amazing. Some of them couldn't carry a conversation, but when they got on stage they sang their hearts out and were so full of life and happiness. It was contagious. They had all sorts of physical and mental limitations that melted away when they shared their talent with us. It made me want to cry! It was a lot of work and I was exhausted after. I have so much respect for the Teachers who work with them everyday. It was a blessing to have spent time with them this week of Thanksgiving as it was a wonderful reminder of being thankful for what God has given us.

Giggle Noah

Noah was a giggling boy on Friday and I caught it on camera! He is doing so much better on the nebulizer, antibiotics and cough medicine. He is such a trooper! The photo is his 4 month old face.

We celebrated BirthGiving or HappyThanksDay with Dad and Mom yesterday for Dad's birthday and Thanksgiving. We got Dad a reservation for a cooking class....yummy.

We are on the 3 day countdown to Massachusetts and Brian is so excited he cannot sleep already!

Good news

Noah's chest x-ray was negative for pneumonia! Yeah!

Finally Friday

I am back to feeling like myself today. I am worried about Noah as he had to have a chest x-ray yesterday and they are trying to rule out pneumonia. He is on a nebulizer, antibiotics and cough syrup. The poor kid has been poked and prodded three weeks in a row by the doctor. I am hoping resting this weekend will get him ready for our trip to Massachusetts. Once again Mom and Dad missed out on having him on their Thursday. He started giggling on Tuesday night. What a trooper throughout all this!

Flu Central

So I woke up yesterday and had the flu.....BAD... Brian took Noah to daycare and I ended up in bed or throwing up all day....ICK... then Brian got home with Noah and they both got sick too. Talk about a long night. We ended up letting Noah sleep with us because running between the bed, crib and bathroom was insane. I do not want to have another one of those nights EVER. I am at work today because I have no time off and our Massachusetts trip is next week. I'd rather be in bed!

Snotty Tuesday

Snotty since Noah and I have head colds. His cough is so pathetic and sad. He hates the nose bulb snot-taker-outer thingy and now if he even sees it he begins to cry. We've been taking showers with him (which is fun!) to decongest him and using baby vapor rub (which smells really funky).

So for this past weekend I have a story to share... Saturday night Brian was getting out of the shower and turned the hot water handle only to have it come off in his hands and start spraying hot water straight out and so we had to shut off the main water valve in the front yard. It was 10:30 at night so he didnt realize when he stuck his hand in the meter box that a red ant colony had taken it over and so they started biting him in the hand and arm. So he gets a rubber glove and luckily our plumber neighbor came over with a funky tool and shut it off for us. But we were without water until lunchtime the next day with three sick boys in the house and no potty's. Man am I glad this weekend is over.

So today I have the cold and I am deteriorating hourly.

I did get to go see Noah at his new daycare today and although the building is not as nice as his old, place, he is happy and the staff is nice. I left him sleepy in a swing.

Tubular Tuesday

I wanted to share an exciting development. After I dropped Noah off at daycare today I was crying (again) on the way to work and praying to God. I had seen a daycare center under renovations near my office and today there was a sign on the lawn that said “Now Open.” I called immediately, checked it out at lunch and will be moving Noah there.
It is a mile from my office. I can go at lunch or whenever, it is even LESS expensive than where he is now and I am thrilled! God is awesome!


This is me, thrilled!

I made a shadow box with professional photos and keepsakes as a present for Brian and gave it to him on Sunday. I sneaked and got the photos taken when he turned 3 months old and I wanted to give it to him now so we can hand them out when we are in Massachusetts for Thanksgiving. The hat is from the hospital with our ID bracelets in top. The blue and white rectangles are pieces of streamers that Brian decorated the house with when we came home from the hospital. The measuring tape was used in the hospital when Noah was born and the "I'm a Boy" was the card in his bassinet at the hospital.

Monday Monday

So we slept in today because little man had an off night. When he went to the doctors office on Friday she blamed his fussiness about eating and his stuffiness/coughing in the morning to colic. This doesn't seem right to me as colic is supposed to stop around 4 months of age, not start. I hate it when he cries like he is in pain, it's almost like the cry of a 2 year olds temper tantrum and it comes out of nowhere!

On a happier note, he rolled from back to belly twice Friday night. It was too cool! He seemed very shocked by this and wasn't sure what to do with himself.

This weekend we visited with another new person, Jordan McDougall, born Friday evening 8:30ish. Although she weighed over 9 pounds, she seemed so light compared to Noah. I ALREADY dont even remember him being that little. How strange!

This weekend we also did Winter Cleaning (instead of Spring) and made room for a new piece of furniture in the playroom. I love to de-clutter my space as it de-clutters my brain! We also went to dinner on the St. John's river last night and listened to some great live blues music.

Noah video

Fantastic Friday

Noah in the crib at my Mom's house yesterday. According to his doctors visit today (nothing is wrong) he weighs 15.25 lbs.





So it is a Fantastic Friday because we made it through another week and I only have 1.5 hrs until I'm with my boy for the day. I am still really struggling with not being with him. I am so tired at the end of the day and I dont think we are getting eachother's 'best.'


I'm finding it hard to stay positive when my heart is breaking about not being home with him.

This week at work was our Fall Fest. It was a busy, but fun day of dancing and food and info. tables. This is probably why I am exhausted this week as I tend to 'over help.'



This weekend we do not have the big brothers as they are off to Disney with their mom and her dad. It's car weekend for us as Brian wants to work on the cars and get new tires for the sonata. Ouuu....fun

Here are some of my students from Fall Fest. Emily, Mary Alice and Kim.

Go Red Sox!

Here is Noah in his sling. I'm looking down at him sleeping.

So the Red Sox won the World Series last night way past my bedtime, but I stayed up and now I'm paying for it with fatigue. I credit Noah's birth for being the reason the Red Sox went all the way this year!

Noah has been crabby for about 24 hours. I'm not sure what is going on, but I hate leaving him at daycare with the thought that he needs me extra today. I am secretly praying they call me to come and get him, but Ms. Tammy (daycare) seemed unfazed when I told her to call me if he was crying excessively. "Maybe it's the change of season," was all she said. A mommy knows when her boy is not quite right. I just wish I could fix it.

In his happier moments he is babbling SO much. He talk's the most with Brian. I'm jealous so he tried to teach me how to look like I am waiting for a verbal response from Noah in order to have him talk to me more. I cannot do it like he can, must be a daddy thing.

It was finally cold here yesterday. I got to put Noah into a sweatshirt and cotton hat...too cute. Brian and I went to Starbucks and got coffees (mine was mostly decaf) and then went to stroll Noah at the park. We discovered the strollers cup holders are not Starbucks friendly (Spilled) and we also decided we don't like Starbucks coffee anyway and we swore it off forever(for now). We'll stick to Dunkin' Donuts coffee like good yankees.

This morning when I dropped Noah off at daycare they gave me the proof from the professional photos they took his first week there. They are very cute. Of course in my frazzled-ness I forgot them there. But I will order some and try to get it scanned in so we can make copies.

This weekend was blissfully low key. Brian worked on a Spook Box for his work where you reach your hand in a box 'blindly' and have to figure out what is inside. He has created this elaborate cage-like thing with fingers coming out of the 'bars.' I will post pictures when I get some. We slept over Mom and Dads on Saturday in order to have World Series party. It was fun but I neither Bri nor I could keep our eyes open after midnight to finish watching the game. I've become a lightweight since Noah. Speaking of lightweight, I had a Sam Adams Black Lager beer this weekend.....my first since this time last year! ahhhhh....

Wicked Wednesday

Here are the boys from this weekend's visit to the pumpkin patch.

Have you ever heard of 'fake it till you make it?" This is what I have been doing about adjusting to daycare and not being home with Noah. It caught up with me last night. I have been putting on a brave face, but my mask cracked last night. Even though I love my job, I realized that I am angry that I have to work and that I can't be home with Noah. I know this may be my only chance to raise a child and I feel like I am missing out on it. I really like the daycare he's at, but I want to be the one who teaches and entertains him during the day.

Brian and I talked all about our options and choices last night. I just dont see another way we could do this. I am finding myself living for 5 when I can go get Noah and then being upset that we only have 3 hours max of awake time with him. It also makes the weekends when the boys come seem like I have no alone time with Noah. I didnt realize how hard it was going to be to go from being with him everyday to working 9.5 hour days.

In the short term, Brian is going to do the morning prep while I nurse and get Noah ready for school so I can spend more time with him that is less rushed. I also think I am going to have to make a mind shift from feeling desperate about our time together to being grateful instead. I just cannot imagine that 1000's of women do this every day! I hate it. I know it will get better, it has to.

Sorry for the bummed post.

On the upside, I feel so blessed to have a husband I can tell all this too. I feel blessed to have a healthy son and healthy stepsons. I feel blessed that feelings are temporary and I wont feel this way forever. I feel blessed that the Red Sox are in the series tonight....hehehe.

Falling into Monday

Here's Daddy changing Noah on my desk on Friday when he came for the exchange.

Happy Monday!

We had a very busy weekend. I'm almost glad it's Monday. Grandma Marty came up from Tampa and scooped up Yosef and Kaeden along the way. Having the whole family together is wonderful and a bit overwhelming all at once. I think I could get more used to it if the boys stayed with us all the time or at least more often (but that's another story).

We went out to dinner on Friday at Tijuana Flatts (Yum!) and on Saturday we made a haunted ginger bread house from a kit GM had brought with her. It was so much fun and it came out great! We then went to a pumpkin patch and got 3 pumpkins and took some pictures. The boys did a great job carving them (well, Brian did a great job carving their designs). The boys (including Bri) have a funny aversion to the pumpkin 'guts' so that was my area. The seeds are a yummy payoff so I don't mind. Saturday night we watched The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown and then, of course, the Red Sox!

Yesterday we did some crafty picture making and then said good bye to GM before heading to my Mom and Dad's. The boys brought the ginger bread house to eat with their Memere. Black frosting=black teeth, lips, hands, toothbrushes. Brian brought the boys home and Noah and I chilled out at home. He fell asleep just before the Red Sox began their victorious game! Woo-hoo!!

My son blessed me by falling asleep on the way to daycare this morning. It is so much easier to drop him off when he is sleeping. They were installing a soft mirror on the wall near the floor mats today. Last week they had me bring photos to post on the wall behind his crib so he 'sees' us during the day. I think this is just to make me feel better, not him.

Our family were stars this weekend! We had professional pictures taken at the beach on 8/11 courtesy of Mom and Dad and they were the featured photographs at the photographers booth at the Southern Women's Show this weekend and her business card has Bri and I kissing, Noah and Noah's toes on it! Too cool!

Getting Started

This photo is Noah at Memere's 'Daycare' (my mom) on Monday 10/15.

Not that I'm even sure anyone would want to read about my life, but I thought this may be a cool way to keep everyone up to speed on our family and milestones since our extended family is so spread out around the country.

Today is just a 'regular' day. Our new 'regular'. I get up at 5am now. I am not a morning person, but I SO look forward to going to wake Noah. It makes 5am worth it. He is sleeping in 5 hour stretches now (he's 14 weeks on Saturday). This is a wonderful development and one that my sister had to assure me was going to happer when I sobbed to her on the phone in month #2 when he wasnt wanting to go to, or stay, asleep.

This week also marks a change in my perspective on nursing. Aside from some doctor-ordered supplementing his first week of life, I had exclusively breastfed Noah. Then when I returned to work and began pumping 3x a day, my supply went down. It's sad. I want to be Supermom and be able to provide for all his nutritional needs.But after emailing with my Sister in Law and doing some net research, I decided to take the pressure off myself and allow for the F-word. Yup,were using formula. Mom hooked me up with a case of formula from her old job. Thank you GOD! I am now pumping when I feel like I need to (2x/day) at work and usually once at night. Some breast milk is better than none.

It turns out I like the freedom of not having to nurse all the time. Although this freedom comes with a dose of guilt that I would want freedom. Aaaahhh The motherhood guilt that my friend's warned me about...

Other things going on in my life...

I am still active in Overeaters Anonymous. I go to one meeting a week right now, although I'd like to get back to two meetings once we get a routine down. Two meetings = more serenity and more connection to God for me. My God connection is slightly forced at the moment. My feeling that God is large and in charge is taking a fair amount of effort and sometimes my prayers are just words. My eating has been ok, but not like it was pre-pregnancy. I will get back there.

My weight bugs me. I dont fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes, which sucks. It took so long to grow a wardrobe that felt like 'me' and now I have to settle for the handful of things that fit....ick... Fitting in exercising seems impossible at the moment as my day is packed!

My job is good: same drama, different month.

I guess that is all for now!